When you find yourself facing a first pregnancy , an adventure in unknown territory begins. Preparing your couple to a first pregnancy raises many questions that do not necessarily arise when you might expect them to. Residing near Lyon, Laurence, 35, and Florian, 37, (who take the features of “L” and “F” in this interview) had two boys, Antoine and Oscar. They are 5 and 2.5 years old respectively. Laurence had a good experience of her two pregnancies, which presented no particular risk. The couple gives you their experience pregnancy through a testimonial parental that offers a double vision, that of the mother and that of the father.
When you learned that you were expecting a child, what were your first questions? What were the first questions you asked yourself?
Laurence (L) :At the beginning of pregnancy , we do not really ask questions. It is not when you know that you are going to have a child that you ask yourself questions. The questions we had were centered around the questions:are we ready? Will we know how to raise them? And, educate them?
We asked ourselves some questions more specifically related to the administrative part. As soon as you are pregnant, you have to quickly register at the maternity ward, make an appointment with the gynecologist… My first son's pregnancy went well, so I didn't ask myself many questions.
Florian (F) :We were not stressed parents. We knew each other well, we were mature and we certainly had confidence in ourselves. A woman's body changes during pregnancy and we had questions about that. However, with regard to the administrative part, the appointments with the gynecologist… These are not constraints. You learn something each time, whether it's the sex of the baby, its weight...
L and F :At the same time, we prepared the bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen for the arrival of our baby at home. It was mostly material. So we prepared the house to be useful and practical. We had to have what we needed close at hand.
How did you search for answers?
L :My gynecologist was my best advisor . Then there were also the friends who gave good advice. They were friends who had already been there recently. This is important, because the procedures are evolving. I couldn't ask my parents, they had been through all this too long before it was my turn. But the most important opinion is that of the specialist, whether a general practitioner or a gynecologist.
F :It should be noted that the advice of relatives is more oriented towards the choice of an establishment, a maternity . On this side, our choice was made by the prescription of friends.
What were your first actions and behavioral changes when you found out you were expecting a baby?
L :My first action was food. I stopped drinking alcohol, eating cheese or even raw fish… I didn't smoke, so that side didn't concern me.
I immediately decided not to eat for two (mother and child). But, I had cravings, so I made myself snacks. I wanted to eat fresh products, to find substitute products, for cheese for example. I did not pay special attention to the labeling of the products, except to check if the cheeses were well pasteurized.
On the other hand, I paid particular attention to food hygiene , especially by washing fruits and vegetables more than usual.
On the health side, I took vitamin capsules prescribed by my gynecologist and I used a super moisturizing "body milk", that's the main thing, for my stomach to avoid stretch marks .
Finally, as far as sport is concerned, I continued stepping for example. However, I did not sport at risk, such as horseback riding. If I had any doubts, I asked my gynecologist. At the same time, I was also doing Pilates and yoga to continue to build muscle and relax.
Florian, so the father, also helped me on that side. He followed the prerogatives well!
And, regarding pets, what precautions did you take?
L :We don't have any at home. On the other hand, when we went to people who had a cat, I avoided them because of toxoplasmosis . In addition, every month, I had a blood test to check if there was no problem, especially with toxoplasmosis.
How did you approach the physiological and physical development as a woman?
L :I really enjoyed my pregnancy period . I mainly took in the stomach, I didn't feel huge, I didn't have any water retention... I still had a few hot flashes. But overall I thought it was nice. We even took some pictures to see the evolution of my belly. I was proud to be a mom!
The body changes during pregnancy. On the hormonal upheaval side , I had acne breakouts, my hair was a little tired… But, nothing major. I remained feminine and elegant, even pregnant!
Did you do the medical visits together?
L and F :We did not make all the medical visits together. However, two are really important to do together:the first ultrasound and the third month ultrasound to find out if it's a boy or a girl. It's a moving moment, of sharing for two.
For other medical visits, these are quick visits. This is to control the cardiac aspect of the baby. For us, it was not useful to be two at that time. But, we remind you that the pregnancies both went well and that they were well lived.
Which birth preparation did you opt for?
F :We opted for a preparation for childbirth classic with a midwife who received us at her home, as a group.
We made this choice since we are not particularly, both, sensitive to sophrology or yoga for example. It depends on your lifestyle. They ultimately define the choice of preparation for childbirth.
Preparing for childbirth has given us several things. The midwife allowed us to reassure ourselves, she explained to us how it was going to happen. So she prepared us and put us in condition for the delivery. It is a professional who prepares you and that reassures. At the same time, we also exchanged with other couples who were present.
L :It's true, the preparation for childbirth allowed us to have advice, to be reassured. We were told what we were going to have to do on D-Day, in terms of breathing for example. Being in a group also allowed us to exchange and reassure ourselves. In short, it's a kind of manual for a successful birth.
On the other hand, for my first pregnancy, we also opted for haptonomy in addition to the classic preparation. The idea is to meet the baby together. This allows the baby to feel the warmth of your hand, to communicate with him, to create an exchange with the father and therefore to involve him.
F :Haptonomy allows the father to be a little more active during the pregnancy period.
L :This is a strong point. I recommend it to all parents. The advantage is that you can do it again at home and it's the first real threesome.
Looking back, what would you do or not do to prepare for your pregnancy?
F :We had opted for haptonomy the first time as part of the preparation for pregnancy and we might have had to do it again for the second pregnancy because it was really good.
L :In the preparation for pregnancy there is a lot of prevention. But pregnancy is also a big part of feelings. We kept in mind what to do, but there is really a part of "feeling". There is a life at stake, so you do not do anything. When you already have a first experience, it's a little different. Experience matters.
F :You're not stressing yourself out for nothing.
L :Afterwards, it depends on how your pregnancy goes, of course.
