Arguing happens to all of us, especially in relationships.
To prevent a simple "rant" from turning into a tragedy, here are some solutions to manage your argument well.
An argument can sometimes be useful :we say things that we hadn't dared to say before, we let go of the pressure, we express ourselves .
But be careful that the words do not exceed the thought, that the violence does not take on enormous proportions.
There are a few ways to limit the damage . I tested them, it works.
I avoid shouting. And if it's too late, that I've already gone up in decibels, I lower my voice to return to a normal tone:it defuses the crisis, and it prevents it from escalating. My interlocutor suddenly is not going to give a layer.
I feel that it's going up and that I no longer listen to what the other is saying? I go out, I run, I kick a ball or I shout if my neighbors are absent. Nothing better to relieve the pressure and not make the other victim of my verbal abuse.
It is known, breathing well helps to support a stressful situation, to calm down. Here too:I breathe deeply and several times in a row if necessary.
Very well known to shrinks and coaches, it consists of showing the other that you have heard and understood them. I'm just repeating his last sentence. For example, for my darling it is generally:"what annoys you is that I am often late". I do it if possible with other words than his to avoid the parrot effect.
And it shows him my empathy towards him, it lowers the pressure, we are on the same wavelength. I tested it just yesterday, and the evening ended quite well!
I remember the good sides of my spouse, the pleasant times spent together, the future we plan, and I put this unpleasant moment into perspective, which is only a drop in the sea of our couple...
I systematically try this weapon (after taking a deep breath!) I know the grimaces that make him laugh, the jokes that hit home, and it's a good way to get out of the impasse of the argument. To be used quite early in the course of the argument, because after a while it is difficult to use humor.
To be avoided absolutely! I do not insult, but I also refuse to be insulted. This only makes matters worse and leads to an uncontrollable escalation. I then use trick n°2, it's better.
Arguing can be a healthy way to solve problems, if you put up barriers.
And you, what are your parades to argue intelligently? We are waiting for your opinions in the comments, it can be useful to everyone.
