Involvement in a loving couple can take on many facets and vary greatly from one individual to another. In some cases, anxious forms of relational management appear and can take two main forms:affective dependence or refusal of attachment. Even if these two behaviors seem extremely different, they generally lead to the same results:a progressive deterioration of the couple and poor financial management. This last point can take on a fundamental aspect in the relationship.
Everyone approaches romantic relationships differently. At one end of the spectrum, there are people who crave closeness so much that they can come across as "clingy." At the other end are those who value their independence so deeply that they avoid getting too close to anyone.
These two extremes of the romantic orientation of attachment—known as affective dependency and attachment avoidance—both can have negative consequences for well-being due, at least in part, to financial aspects.
Several studies have found that people with high affective dependency and those with high attachment avoidance both demonstrate low life satisfaction and low relationship satisfaction.
A person's attachment orientation typically develops in early childhood and persists throughout life for all types of relationships, including romantic relationships. Both affective dependency and attachment avoidance are considered “insecure attachment orientations.”
According to the studies carried out on this subject, finances therefore seem to play a primordial role in the dynamics imposed on the couple's relationship. A non-negligible part of personal well-being depends on good management and the availability of finances in order to be able to carry out your projects as a couple, or quite simply to enjoy certain daily pleasures such as the cinema or the restaurant.
People with emotional dependency also experience low financial satisfaction. These two forms of relationship management also adopt more irresponsible financial behaviors, and also perceive the financial behaviors of their partners as being irresponsible.
Studies have shown that people who strongly avoid attachment place a high value on materialism. Therefore, they may engage in compulsive or expensive shopping to show that they are "better than others".
“The romantic orientation of attachment can affect financial behaviors and the perceptions partners have of them. Less responsible financial behaviors and the resulting perception are associated with a progressive breakdown of the couple says Xiaomin Li, a researcher at the University of Arizona.
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These two forms of love anxiety therefore have a strong impact on the financial management of the individual. In the case of emotional dependence, the finances are mainly affected to obtain the recognition of the other, to ensure his pleasure, in order to not create any situation likely to cause the rupture. In the case of attachment avoidance, the individual is more critical of the romantic partner's financial management, often criticizing him for spending lavishly on things that, from his point of view, are not necessary for the couple.
People who are emotionally dependent may use money to get other people's attention. For example, they might buy expensive gifts in an attempt to win a partner's love. On the other hand, those who avoid attachment—who tend to be more dismissive of others and primarily dependent on themselves—may incur less responsible spending for their own gain.
There may also be different explanations why dependent and avoidant people perceive their partners' behaviors as irresponsible. Those who avoid attachment may simply not value their partner. On the other hand, highly dependent people may distrust their partners due to their own insecurities in the relationship.
