One of my leitmotivs is that by changing his way of thinking, he is possible to change your life.
I am convinced that our thoughts and emotions condition our daily lives.
Unfortunately, most people are unaware of the impact negative thoughts can have on their lives.
They are so entrenched in their habits that it becomes normal.
Here are 12 most common toxic thoughts you need to get rid of to have a better life:
You are not a victim. So stop blaming other people around you for your problems. Just because you're not good where you are today doesn't mean you can't do anything to improve the situation.
So get rid of that victim mentality because it doesn't help. It is even an obstacle to your success. Realize that you, and you alone, are responsible for your destiny.
You can not. I learned it the hard way. I had a time in my life where I thought I could "motivate" and "inspire" people to bring out the best in themselves. It took me a while to realize that the only thing that can really change a person is themselves.
If a person doesn't want to change or doesn't know how to change, then all your efforts are for naught. So try not to worry too much about the people around you. If you don't like them as they are, you always have the choice not to see them anymore. But not the one to change them.
You can change some things. I would even say more:you can change a LOT of things. You can find a better job. You can go back to college. You can lose weight. You can make your marriage work. But there are some things you can't change. There are just some things you can't do anything about.
You can't change the fact that your boss sucks. You can change jobs, but not your boss. You can't change the fact that you have to pay rent or pay off your credit. But you can stop believing it's possible. Resisting unchangeable things does nothing but make you more frustrated and unhappy. So change what you can, and accept the things you can't change.
“If only I was as pretty as this girl, I would be happy.” Or “if only I was as rich as this guy, I would be happy”. Those kinds of thoughts just aren't true. Just because you think someone else has something more than you doesn't mean it's true.
Maybe this pretty girl was abused when she was young and now she's struggling to have a normal life. Maybe this rich guy works so hard he never sees his family. The grass is not greener next door. So enjoy the weed you have. It's yours. So love her.
Expectations can be harmful to your happiness. Even if you think they are reasonable, such as expecting your roommate or spouse to share household chores around the house. Just because you expect something from someone, doesn't mean that person will do it.
Realize that your expectations and requirements come from your personal experiences and prejudices. They are not necessarily the priorities of the people around you. You probably don't like being expected to do something you don't want to do, so don't impose your expectations on others. If you don't like their behavior, either accept it or move on.
If you don't already feel accomplished, then having a romantic partner won't change that. Plus, it puts a lot of pressure on the other person to “make you happy”.
You must first be happy with yourself or be happy without a lover. Finding a darling won't make you happier. Only you can do that.
I always wonder why people spend so much energy proving they are right. What's the point ? It may be because they don't want to appear weak. Or vulnerable. Or stupid.
But in the end, admitting that you are wrong is much more noble and mature. Anyway, everyone has a different opinion. So why not have yours and let others have theirs?
Why is this so important to you? Is it because you think they are judging you? Let me let you in on a secret:no one judges you more than you do yourself.
Other people are too busy judging themselves (much like you). They don't even have time to think about you. So do what makes you happy. And if others are judging you, then that's their problem, not yours. Ignore them and be happy either way.
We live in a world where we like to think there is only one objective reality. But guess what? Objective reality is an illusion. It does not exist. Only subjective realities exist. What one person thinks is the truth is not the truth for everyone.
For example, who is right:the right or the left? Well that depends on who you ask, doesn't it? Everyone thinks something is true because it corresponds to their life and the way they see the world at a given moment. There are therefore as many true and false as there are individuals. It's as simple as that.
I love this quote from Robert Downey, Jr. "Worrying is like praying for something you don't want". If you believe in the power of prayer, then you know that sending thoughts and emotions out into the Universe or to God (depending on what you believe in) works pretty well.
So instead of worrying, be here and now in the present moment. The present moment is all you have. So live in the present and stop worrying about a future that you only control to a certain extent.
We live in a capitalist culture that places a high value on money and success. We believe that people who have a lot of money are somehow more respectable people than those who don't. But that's just plain wrong.
I'm sure there are plenty of happy monks on earth who don't have 1 euro in their pocket. In the same way, you can find people who work at McDonald's who are very happy while some billionaires are not.
So don't fall into the trap of believing that you need to be rich to be happy. It is simply not true. Money is better when you have it, but it won't make you happy. Only you have the power to become one.
Just because you come from a poor family or have made mistakes in the past doesn't mean you can't build a better future. If you label yourself a "loser" because of your past, then you will continue to act like a loser in the future.
And if you've heard of the phenomenon of self-fulfilling prophecy, then you know that you become what you think. So as I said in the introduction, change your thinking to change your life!
I hope this article has made you reflect on those toxic thoughts that often cross our minds. And I bet you didn't even realize it! So watch what you think, and when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, hit the 'undo' and 'delete' buttons - QUICKLY!
