I think this is pretty much the busiest time of the year. Not just for me, but for everyone around me. And then the question is a bit… do you let yourself be driven completely crazy, or do you try to take a critical look at yourself every now and then?
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Yesterday during dinner we talked about Coen Swijnenberg and the fact that he has a burn out. Lotte immediately headlined the question 'Mom, what is a burn out?'. After an explanation from our side, she looked dubious once and called out 'I want to do what you do later mom, because you're never under stress. Then you won't get burned out'.
Well, it seems so yes. Because even though this is the busiest period of the year for me, with writing blogs, sending packages, visiting events and so on… for the children it seems like I have the easiest job there is. I'm also home a lot, of course, so I understand. When they come home from school, I am almost always there, unlike many other working mothers. But that doesn't mean I'm calm. Only now do I recognize the signals and do something with them.
I too have been on the brink of burnout. Years ago, before I started my own business and still worked for the boss. Not only did I work a lot of hours at the time (50 hours a week without traveling time was really not uncommon), but I also lost confidence in my employer. In addition, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer and the combination of private life and work made me feel unwell at the time. My body started to sputter. That was also the moment that I immediately took the plunge. Ended my working career as a business unit manager and started my own business.
I get that you think this is a strange twist. That in such a busy period you decide to start your own business. But it gave me the relief I needed at that moment. During the busiest time of the year, I could focus on my father when needed. I no longer had 3 hours of travel time in a day and I got a lot of energy to get started as a self-employed person.
I started to spend more time on MamsatWork.nl and also took over a webshop in children's clothing. And then the stress started again . For six years in a row I ran my blog and my children's clothing website side by side. Until the nerves drove me crazy. It got too busy. From building websites to sending a package and from shopping to writing blogs. Not to forget the marketing and customer service. And especially during the busiest time of the year, the holidays. There are already warnings that this year will again be busier than previous years!
The stress did not only come from sending all the packages and the rest of the work, but also from the purchases that had to be done every six months. An annual recurring investment of €80,000-100,000; I got very nervous about that. It all had to be paid back.
And what about customer service? If you run a professional webshop - on your own - that means that you have to be available day and night. By phone and by email. That is why I always have such respect for webshop owners who turn every shipment into a small gift. That takes so much time! That was not an issue for me. In the beginning I made something beautiful out of it, but at a certain point I was already happy if I could send all the packages on time instead of packing them nicely.
That I made the decision three years ago to stop the webshop is therefore the best decision ever. I no longer have to send packages, I no longer have to be available to customers day and night and I can manage my own time better. My evenings are mine again (hallelujah!) and our family life is much more balanced than it has ever been.
I have learned to make choices in life. You can't do everything at once and then it comes down to prioritizing. During the periods of illness and death of my parents, I dropped everything. In fact, those were the busiest times of my life, but in those years Frank took care of it at home and I could focus on them. I am still very grateful to him for that.
We are all doing better in our lives now. We still have plenty planned, but they are all conscious choices. Frank has been working for the same employer for 25 years and is perfectly at home there. That also brings a lot of peace. I only have MamsatWork and even though there are a lot of requests and assignments during this busiest period of the year, I enjoy every moment.
I take time for myself in the evenings and at the weekend and notice that on Monday I can start the working week fully charged again. It does not mean that the evenings and weekends are quiet, because then we are renovating again. But working with your hands makes up for a lot. Whether it's renovating at home or a hobby… I have found that I feel a lot better if I do other things in the evenings and weekends than sitting in front of my PC. It took me years to learn this, but I'm finally there 😉 .
I sincerely hope that you can too. That you don't let the school assignments such as making surprises and Christmas dinner at school drive you crazy during the busiest period of the year. And that you don't let all social media drive you crazy. Do your own thing, feel what works for you and your family and try to enjoy yourself.
Good luck!
