All first times are exciting, and so is the first time you have sex after childbirth. Whether you have had a difficult birth or an easy one. Have you been cut, torn or have made it through your birth in one piece. That first intercourse after holding your baby in your arms remains a thing. Butrrrr… you can prepare yourself!
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I'll head it right in. This is different for everyone! One has sex after 4 weeks and the other has nothing to do with it for the first three months. That's all possible. However, there are a few things to keep in mind if you are mentally ready for sex for the first time after giving birth.
Any woman who has just given birth is bleeding. You too. Only for one the bleeding only takes a few weeks and the other may be bleeding for eight weeks. Again, this can be different for every woman. The fact is that - if you are still bleeding - it is better not to have sex. This is because the bleeding is a result of the fact that the wound of the placenta has not yet fully healed after delivery.
You can imagine that it can take a while before this wound is healed again. As long as that is not the case, you want to make sure that no bacteria enter that can make you sick. In this case, you wait a little longer with sex after giving birth, even if you feel like it. If the bleeding stops, it's a sign that the wound has healed and you can have intercourse again.
Did you have stitches left over from your birth because you were cut? Or are you torn? In that case, it is -of course- also important that you wait with sex until the 'down under' has fully recovered from your birth. There is a chance that the tear will open again if the suture has not yet fully healed. You don't want that.
It is not so strange that that spot remains painful for a longer period of time. Again, this differs from woman to woman. Some women are able to do all kinds of things pretty quickly after giving birth, so that sex is also more quickly within 'hand reach'. Other women -like me- need six weeks to be able to walk or cycle properly again without pain, for example. It all has to do with how much damage you took during childbirth.
The scar tissue can also bother you with sex for a few weeks. If it hurts, the advice is to stop. You decide how much pain you 'can handle' of course, but keep in mind that your scar tissue can also be very stiff and painful in the beginning. In that case, massaging works well. Make your scar more supple by, for example, using Weleda Mama Perineum Massage Oil daily to massage. Don't just get started with any massage oil, but really look for one that can be used in that part of your body.
At least you now know about sex after childbirth. When you can have safe sex again without running the risk of a bacterial disease or a (again) ruptured vagina.
But even then, having sex for the first time can be very exciting again after you have given birth. Not only for you, but also for your partner. So make sure you take your time with it. Maybe it's even nice if your baby is staying overnight 😉 . But I can also imagine that you are not ready for that so soon after giving birth. In any case, find a moment when the chance that you will be disturbed is as small as possible.
If your stitches have healed and the bleeding has stopped, you can in principle have safe sex after delivery. But stop if you feel (too much) pain. Of course too much pain is a bit abstract, but I assume you feel how much pain there is and when it goes too far. In any case, don't try to push through and keep yourself big. If you are in too much pain, just stop. First examine whether it is physical pain from the inside or the outside of your vagina.
Remember that you can be a bit dry when you have sex for the first time after giving birth. You can be a little tense and a dry vagina is not conducive to pain relief, you know that. In addition to stress, hormones also play a role. A dry vagina after giving birth is very normal. But there is something to be done about that, check the tips!
Do you suffer from some pain on the inside? That can and does not have to be a 'showstopper'. It is of course logical that your uterus can still be a bit sensitive. In addition, your abdominal muscles may be somewhat weaned from sex and a slight muscle pain is very normal. You can also have a kind of 'weak feeling' when you come during sex after childbirth. After all, your uterus contracts during ejaculation. The sensitivity and muscle pain is then a logical consequence.
Do you suffer from light bleeding after sex even though you have stopped bleeding and your stitches have healed well? That too is possible. Maybe your vagina is so dry that a small tear appeared during sex the first time after giving birth. Then a light loss of blood can simply be explained.
If you feel severe pain after the first time after giving birth, it is wise to stop having sex early. Does the pain continue? Then contact your doctor for an extra check-up. Otherwise, just try it again next time. Step by step you come together again to the point that you can enjoy each other again.
