According to the CBS, an average of 470 babies are born per day in the Netherlands. According to the same source, 95 percent of the parents of these babies to to the child health clinic . with her or his little one to go. During the first four years of your little one's life, the consultation office provides guidance in both physical and mental areas. Despite the fact that almost all of us make the choice to go, there is a lot of dissatisfaction and the consultation office is often a source of annoyance .
At every party, on social media or during conversations with friends; the consultation bureau is the subject of discussion everywhere. Unfortunately, more often negative than positive. don't get me wrong; I am also in favor of the consultation bureau and therefore I go faithfully to all appointments with Mees. Yet I run into a number of things…
On Facebook I often come across phrases along the lines of; 'Pff my baby has passed the inspection again.. ' or 'Proud! He's growing by the lines again! ’ I think that mothers speak like that after a visit to the child health center has everything to do with the culture that prevails there. The culture of the lines. Pride?! I'm not proud of Mees if he grows neatly along a line, or can grab a block at exactly the right number of weeks...
I am proud when I see what a nice guy he is, when he puts a smile on someone's face.
Table of contents
Yet I too have to believe it and the day of my first visit is getting closer and closer. The day before I visited a friend who already has the necessary experience because of her two beautiful children. She joked, "And is your bag ready for the big visit tomorrow?" "Bag? Uh why?” People who know me a little know that I am never very well prepared. I can be quite silly at times, so I hadn't and probably never even thought of this myself. I was so happy to say that I received this tip before my first visit and that I was spared a first note with the 'child police':an unprepared mama.
Read also: make your child go hungry because he is growing too fast
The next day it was time. I stepped inside, still in good spirits and saw a room full of changing pads and other moms. I sat down somewhere and the assistant asked:Is Mees present yet? Because I did not assume that Mees would raise his hand to report himself, I did this for him. She told me it was his turn to weigh in. After peeking around I realized that I had to undress him. Again very happy with my packed bag, because after less than a second on the scale the hydrophilic cloth is already soaking wet from the pee. It seemed as if he too was nervous for his very first check-up at the health clinic…
After waiting for a while we were able to go inside. I knew I was already 1-0 down because I don't breastfeed Mees. Not because it didn't work out, no, just because I don't feel comfortable with this. I noticed before that this is not understood by everyone. When I also enthusiastically told that Mees is an easy baby, who I can take everywhere with me, her face went down. Whether I knew that babies benefit from structure?
It would then be due to the fact that Mees doesn't sleep much during the day. She therefore strongly advised me that I should no longer be on the flutter with my baby and that I should instead put him to bed at regular intervals. After all, sitting at home all day was also part of becoming a mother… It doesn't seem to matter to her that Mees sleeps well in the evening and during the night, and therefore easily makes up for the missed hours during the day.
After the fire of questions, the investigations followed. She noticed that Mees kept his hands tightly closed. I cannot deny that I was silently encouraging Mees; 'Please Mees, open your hands. Come on, you can do it!' It almost felt like some kind of competition. My child can open his hands! As if I would have failed as a mother if Mees had not opened his hands within the 3-minute visit to the doctor…
Read also: My child is developing very quickly
That I had never noticed it in his 8-week life before this appointment turned out to be of no consequence. When I walked back a bit stunned after this first visit, I quickly decided; I'm never going to be completely honest about how and what I do everything. I think that as a mother I know my child best, I am around 24/7 and know him through and through.
More appointments followed, of course, and I must also say that once I got used to the state of affairs and the working method, it all went quite smoothly. I can go there with questions about nutrition, development and my own regular nurse also turned out to be a smooth, modern aunt! The only thing I continue to regret is that the mother who stands behind the baby is sometimes forgotten.
With the birth of their baby they have gone through a huge change. It gives a new dimension to your own personality. You get the name mama as soon as your baby is born, but that you have to master this new role through trial and error is often forgotten. Especially in this uncertain first period, which also coincides with the first visits to the child health center, you are still looking for a way in your new role as a mother. Everything you do and try is aimed at being the best mom for your baby. Any form of criticism can then hit very hard. Surely they should also realize this at the consultation office?
In my view, despite this, a visit to the consultation office is certainly of added value and therefore certainly not a waste of your time, as long as you filter the advice and take what you think is useful. For the rest applies; in one ear and out the other. In my opinion, this is the way to go when you visit the health clinic. Put it on!
Image used via Shutterstock
