As a teenager, nutrition coach Anki Willemsen struggled with obesity, insecurity and unexplained fatigue. Things changed when she started to delve into nutrition and mindset. Now she owns Lazyfitgirl.
"Certainly not. As a teenager I was passive, way overweight and always tired. I dropped out of VWO to HAVO because I was too sleepy to study. My classmates went to do fun things after school, I hung out on the couch, watched TV and ate too many unhealthy snacks.”
“When I was eight, my father unexpectedly ended his life. To me that was incomprehensible – I had no idea he was bipolar. He and I were very close. If he rode the tractor, I went with him. My father was truly my hero and his death ended my carefree childhood. I felt responsible:could I perhaps have done something to prevent this? And how could life go on without him? I became a huge fat insider, felt guilty when I enjoyed something. And I fled into food, especially into sweets like cakes and candies. Anything to not feel my emotions.”
“I had little self-confidence † I always thought:as long as I lose weight, I'll be happy. But I didn't stick to strict diets. And I was so tired and sleepy, so lifeless the whole time. The doctor could not find a cause. So I concluded that I was lazy. I never felt good enough.”
“When I was seventeen, I sought help from a dietitian. Then I went into nutrition. I noticed that I got more energy when I ate less sugar and I lost weight. The real turning point came when I was 23, when I was diagnosed with narcolepsy. A chronic, neurological condition that causes sleepiness 24/7. Finally I knew:I am not lazy. I followed my passion and left for England to train as a nutrition coach. In the years since my diagnosis I shifted my focus from the pounds to my overall health.”
“During my education I had as a coach in a lifestyle intervention program worked for obese teenagers. That program approached losing weight out of self-love, not out of dissatisfaction with your body. A huge eye opener. I learned what important role lifestyle and mindset play in this. With me it was always 'all or nothing' and that's why I kept yo-yoing. I let go of eating schedules and started eating intuitively:just when I was hungry and without imposing anything on myself. It was a process of small steps in which I learned to enjoy food.”
“I notice that many people struggle with all kinds of dietary thoughts. The diet culture imposes rules, but teaches you nothing about nutrition, habits and motivation. When losing weight fails, you often fall into old habits. With my method you build a healthy lifestyle step by step. It's about feeding rather than filling. The basis is an 80/20 balance. You eat 80 percent nutritiously and make food switches in the process – for example from white pasta to whole wheat. The other 20 percent consists of Conscious Enjoyment moments. At those moments you take the best, without feeling guilty. With this method you work on self-love and you can learn from your pitfalls. You unleash sabotaging dietary beliefs and eat much more consciously.”
“That healthy living is more than just weight loss † The best success stories that I get back are so-called non-scale victories:independent of the scale. Such experiences give me great satisfaction. Some women have come out of burnout. Others have fewer headaches or can go down the slide with their child again. Living differently is literally life-changing. My personal non scale victory is having more energy. I'm still dealing with narcolepsy. I always feel jet lagged and sleeping doesn't help. But I don't want to live a passive life, so I do what I can by eating nutritious food. That is my motivation.”
“Because I believe that everyone should be able to adjust their lifestyle. Also people with a small purse or women who have already wasted a lot of money on diets. Money is not a motivation for me, others do help. And if people want paid guidance from me, they will find me naturally. My first course sold out in no time. I have every confidence that it will work that way.”
“I believe in the law of attraction. If you speak your dreams and believe in them yourself, they will come to you. When I started Lazyfitgirl, I stated my wishes:I wanted a Lazyfitgirl Academy start where you work on your goals in a closed group. I then worked towards that at my own pace. My next dream is to give workshops and lectures and I have already incorporated them into a vision board. My experience is that you achieve more if you dare to think big.”
“The quote 'What if I fall? – Oh but my darling, what if you fly?” speaks to me. There was a time when I didn't see the future, but especially after my diagnosis I feel like I've been given a second chance. I am no longer afraid of failure. I now follow my passion and can organize my life in such a way that it works, despite my chronic disability. Everything has fallen into place.”
“For me, eating means enjoying, I only eat what I like. If I feel like breakfast in the evening, I take it. There is no right or wrong; I just make choices between nutritious and less nutritious. I feel free in that. And if I take something less nutritious, I choose the tastiest. For example, I eat a thick chocolate bar every week.”
Read also:This is Anki Willemsen's food diary
“When I used to see 'only' 3,000 steps on my pedometer, I felt bad. For me, exercise is now separate from burning calories or compensating for a treat. I do it for fun and to feel fit. And yet I'm slimmer than ever:I've gone from size 42 to size 36. In a tiring week I take a twenty minute walk every day. Sometimes a little longer, but if that doesn't work, that's fine too. I'm a lot better for myself.”
“I hardly wear any make-up, but I do take good care of my skin. I use a step-by-step plan from the hannah brand for this. And I do connective tissue massage on myself, it improves my skin. I also put SPF30 on my face every day. Summer and winter. All in all, I think appearance is the most important. I feel just as beautiful on days without makeup and with undried hair as I do on days when I do wear makeup.”
“I have a busy period right now. Luckily my friend and family . jump Bee. I outsource things that cost me a lot of energy. So now I have a cleaning lady. I can let go of the idea that it should always be tidy in here. My priority is to enjoy my family.”
“When I was in my early twenties I never expected that I would ever have children, I suffered so much from the narcolepsy † Now I have a business and a family. My children are my everything. And they give me structure. Normally, I might flop on the couch faster if I'm tired am, now I go out and do fun things with them.”
“My boyfriend and I have known each other since my student days † He accepted me completely, even though I was still very passive at the time. His way of life has helped me gain more confidence. He doesn't care at all about what others think of him. I found it exciting to show more and more of myself on social media. He said in perspective:people like to follow you or they don't follow you. It's nice to have such a sober person next to you."
“I very consciously plan me-time in my weekly planner. For me, relaxation is taking a bath. Meditation via an app also relaxes me. Then I go to bed on time and just focus on that voice. Very pleasant, it keeps me in the here and now. I also like to listen to a podcast or audiobook while walking.”
“I try to set a good example in treating others with respect and respecting everyone. My children see this in the way I speak to others. The most important thing I want to teach them is that they can be themselves and make their own choices. I have let go of all the negative thoughts I ever had about myself. Perfection is not necessary, in nothing. I no longer care so much about what others think, I am comfortable in my old clothes in the schoolyard. I'm just trying to be the best mom to my boys and help others.”
“I don't worry about unimportant things anymore. Our society asks that we keep all the balls high, but who would you do that for? Recently my car hit a pole. At first I was upset. But then I thought:you know, you've got a car under your ass and you're healthy, how bad is this really? I now see that life is about being happy with what you can do. I let go of what I have no control over and tackle what I can change. Happiness for me is in the small, everyday things.”
Text:Belinda Fallaux Photography:Bart Honingh Make-up:Linda Huiberts
