Fears come in all shapes and sizes. For scary critters, for example. But often fears are also much more personal. Like performance anxiety. Are you afraid of failure? There are many Dutch parents who suffer from this. This is apparent from the survey that Menzis recently conducted among more than 1000 respondents. This fear of failure can be a reason not to try anything new either. It is surprising, however, that in the 25-34 age group this fear of failure is greater than in the 35-55 age group (21% versus 40%).
I'm amazed at this outcome, as I thought that today's group of 25-34 year olds is a group of people who are very self-conscious and like to try new things. But they turn out to be a lot more insecure than I thought. So they do try out new things, but less than the somewhat older respondents. Such a shame!
Because I think trying gives you new energy. Positive energy. Doing something you hadn't thought of before, or picking up something new that is secretly a bit exciting. If you get through that or finish it well, you feel stronger, right? Like 'I did that nicely'! Or do you not recognize that?
Table of contents
The bizarre thing is that if you fear failure, you are more likely to fail. It is therefore important to have your affairs in order so that you can tackle your fear of failure! And what better way to do that than by trying new things?
I am also not free from fears, of course. But I do try to tackle my ostrich politics these days. For example, I wrote about my volunteer work. My fears held me back a bit, but luckily I was triggered by Menzis SamenGezond. I have now taken the step and went for an intake interview to get acquainted. And how beautiful was that intake conversation. Two very happy volunteers got really excited about me, and they got me excited again 😉 . If all goes well, I will be paired with a lonely elderly person in the short term to do an activity together every week. And I'm looking forward to it, even if it remains a bit exciting.
A few months ago I also stepped out of my comfort zone by giving a presentation at an event. I found that very exciting, but important to do. For myself to try something new, but also for the others because I felt I had something to add. In my blog you can read that I ended the presentation with a few feathers between my buttocks (to put it nicely).
My E behind B driver's license was also such a thing. Even though it's been a long time… I almost let it pass me by because I was afraid I wouldn't make it after all. And what do you think? Right. Passed the first time!
But my biggest fear is actually with my children. Fear of failing in parenting. And that's one I think a lot of mothers recognize. It is typical that I try everything here to keep them 'on track'. Apparently I dare to try new things in education in the hope that it will catch on. Green smoothies for breakfast, for example, to work in the necessary vegetables. Or install the kids behind their iPad during breakfast to let everything run smoothly.
To regularly fall back into my old pattern, of course. Because I see it doesn't work after all. Duh.
Do you suffer from performance anxiety? Then you may be able to use the tips below to reduce your fear of failure. I'll probably confess… they are open doors 😉 .
Only by doing can you actually reduce your fears. You can think in your head until St. Juttemis about how exciting you find something and why you shouldn't do it of course. But that doesn't lessen your fear. No, if you're afraid of failing, it's important to pick up those things.
For example, imagine if I hadn't given that presentation. Then I would still have found it exciting. Now that I've done the presentation, and noticed how enthusiastic everyone was, I find the next presentation a lot less exciting. So do it!
One of the things you can do to reduce the tension is of course prepare. If you know about yourself that you are dreading something, try to prepare for it better. Good preparation is half the battle, people say that for a reason! So if, for example, you would like to go on winter sports, but you find this all very exciting… first take a few lessons in the Netherlands. Then you are better prepared and you already know a little more about what to expect. Your fear of failure (or falling 😉 ) will therefore decrease.
In fact… you have to make mistakes. You learn by making mistakes. And what is actually wrong? Who decides what is wrong for you? At the most, it may be that you would rather have seen a different result than what you see if you are not satisfied. But by making those mistakes, you also know how not to do it next time. Or how you can get a better result by taking other actions.
Can you do that? How about being less critical of yourself? I have a hard time with that myself. I think it runs like a thread through my life, haha. Never satisfied with the results I have achieved. It always has to be better. I find that an annoying characteristic of myself. For myself, but also for others.
So this one is on my to-do list. And if you also suffer from this, then he should also on you! Be kind to yourself.
If you don't challenge yourself to learn new things, you may have fewer failures, but you'll also make less progress. And I don't want to dwell on the familiar. You do? Incidentally, 83% of the respondents in the survey agree with this. Trying new things is more fun!
While surfing, I came upon the Brilliant Failures platform. A wonderful way to look at attempts that may not have quite the desired result. I can fill it completely with parenting stories alone 😛 . It is precisely those failures that you can learn from. You, but also others. So why only those success stories? It is precisely by trying that we become 'richer'. Precisely the vision of Menzis and the approach of the research which they therefore carried out. And exactly the reason why they focus more on giving help in this area.
I still have something to learn about slow living. To really enjoy. Goal number one for 2018.
[button color=”grey” size=”” type=”square_outlined” target=”” link=”https://www.mamsatwork.nl/brood-op- the-plank/”]#mawad[/button]
