Now that our little girl has been here for a while, I can see her developing quickly. It's unbelievable how fast such a little thing can do that. Every day I see her struggling with everything she would love to, but can't yet. Sometimes she is even frustrated with what is not yet successful, she becomes furious. In gibberish she is grumbling a lot and her fists are fluttering around while her legs are floundering. Looking at her, the memories of the past seep back in me. But is that actually possible? From what age can you remember things from the past?
Table of contents
The bad thing is that I can't help her get over that frustration. Of course I can break it up by picking her up and hugging and giving her a big kiss, but I can't make her suddenly walk, for example. Sometimes she babbles to me for a long time to make clear what is bothering her. Very well of course, but unfortunately mom doesn't understand yet.
As soon as she notices that I don't understand yet, she gets angry again. Well, I'm sorry dear...mummy understands quite a bit of what you are trying to make clear, but not everything. Usually I'm just guessing, but if what I'm guessing happens to be right, she's very happy; a smile from ear to ear.
Seeing that frustration in her brings back all kinds of memories. When I saw her trying so hard to roll over, I could suddenly remember that I was very angry that I didn't roll over just yet. I remembered getting angry and suddenly my balance shifted about the balance point causing me to roll over. I remembered the joy and relief. How strange is that?
I also suddenly remembered to lie alone for a while. This was again because I saw her in the box staring up. I know how sometimes as a baby I would stare up because I was 'all alone'. I would lay there waiting to hear or see someone again. It's kind of strange to see your daughter doing what I used to do myself. And when I see her like this, I wonder if she thinks and feels the same way.
Not long ago she was playing in the box. She was practicing rolling. She used the bars of the box. She was successful, she had rolled over. Unfortunately for her she also lay with her legs between the bars. Of course I helped her to lie properly in the box again, but her reaction brought back a memory.
I remembered lying in my crib. I pulled myself up on the bars to sit down. My legs ended up in the stuff, but I sat. I was happy at first, but then I quickly became frustrated because I was stuck and couldn't free myself. I thought that was terrible. It also seemed like an eternity before I was released. I wonder if she also feels that way when her legs are between the bars.
She now sleeps in her crib. When she wakes up, she picks up a bar. Then she looks to the other side and tries to grab that bar as well. I used to do that too. I remember well that I once managed to grab a bar on both sides. My arms were stretched a bit, but it worked. I was overjoyed then. Would she also be so happy when she finally succeeds?
A while back we found out that her crib had become a bit on the tight side. She could still lie in it, that wasn't the problem. But as soon as she awoke, she nearly smashed the entire crib. When she woke up, she didn't have enough room left to thrash her legs and flap her arms. Time for a bigger bed, then.
When I saw her smash her crib like that, I suddenly remembered the moment when my feet were against the bottom and I could no longer move my legs properly. I remembered touching the sides as I moved around with my arms. The memory was so vivid. It was also mainly the emotion that I could remember so well.
I immediately wondered if that might be why I find it so terrible when I can't move my toes freely and that maybe that's why I sleep with my feet outside the covers. Would such small things in your baby life have such an impact on your adult life?
I think you'll like this too:
Image used via Shutterstock
