We've written about it before, about letting go. Recently, for example, about letting go of your adolescent. And now that I write about it like this I realize that I (secretly) started to hold on a bit again. Not smart. But not so strange, because you have to learn to let go. Unfortunately, it does not come naturally and you will have to practice the art of letting go to get better at it. But how do you practice something that you don't know exactly how it works yet?
Because did you know that 'learning to let go' actually means that you have to learn 'do nothing'. You just have to 'let'. As the word letting go itself says.
However, if you have been taught all your life that you have to do something in order to learn something, then you undoubtedly understand that it is an art to leave something behind. Do you own that art? Then life will only get better.
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In fact, all our life we come across things that we have to let go of. Some of them come naturally, even if it takes some effort. Take, for example, the moment you take your child to school for the first time. Not only your child has to let go of you at that moment. You also have to let go of your baby. Trust that everything will be fine and that going to school is good for your child's development. This form of letting go is more or less controlled because children are obliged to go to school and they have to go to school. But there are also plenty of times when letting go would be very good for you, but it simply doesn't work.
Letting go of your adolescent is also such a case. No one is forcing you to let go of your teenager. But the more you hold on, the worse your relationship with your adolescent becomes. You will have to learn to let go and trust your teenager. Even if you see things go wrong. Again, this is a learning process for both. And believe me when I say it's not that easy. We are in the middle of it. One day you can enjoy it because you see your child grow bigger and more independent. You start to feel more connected. The next day you are terrified or irritated by your adolescent's actions. It's all part of letting go.
The art of letting go is of course that you also experience the peace of letting go because you learn to let go of the accompanying emotions. And this does not only apply in relation to the above, of course. In all situations where you feel certain negative feelings, letting go can bring you a lot of peace.
The consequences of not being able to let go are enormous. For example, think about the stress you can feel when you become agitated by something. You may get a headache or stomachache. For example, how many children don't get a stomachache when they have to go to school when 'something' at school isn't going well? We experienced it ourselves at home with Lotte. It wasn't until we got them talking and were able to figure out the problem that we were able to help her do something about it. Or actually… to leave it. Let go.
I myself went through a period (when I was still working for a boss) when I experienced a lot of stress because I couldn't let go of the problems. Insomnia, loss of appetite, burnout, depression, high blood pressure or heart complaints can also be a result of not being able to let go.
Actually quite serious when you realize what you can get from it if you just keep holding on to those negative feelings. And what good is it? You will only feel worse. Yet for most people letting go turns out to be more difficult than it needs to be. Because did you know that you can really learn to let go? Jan Bommerez is very much at home in this and has - in addition to countless books he has written on this subject - also created a course on learning to let go.
Why is letting go so hard? This is mainly due to the fact that we humans are creatures of habit. We do things because we are so used to them. And doing things differently, or approaching things differently, is difficult because it requires new behaviour. You have to learn new habits that can replace the old ones. And we all know how hard it is to develop new habits, don't we? You have to keep repeating the new behavior until it becomes a habit, then you can let go.
The course that Jan Bommerez gives can help with this.
I have now followed the first 3 free lessons and have already learned a thing or two from them. It is special to experience how you feel - through a certain exercise - that there is a blockage in your body. A blockage that comes from the fact that you keep holding on. Such a blockage manifests itself differently for everyone, but I clearly felt a heavy feeling in my heart region and in my stomach.
Of course you would like to say goodbye to such a blockage in order to let the energy flow again. And that's what I've learned in those 3 free lessons. Through awareness and a simple breathing technique that anyone can learn.
Also take these 3 free lessons to see if it suits you and can help you? Here you will find more information about the 3 free lessons.
By letting go of what you cannot change, you will experience more peace. Can you sleep better? Does that headache or the stress you experience when you think about the things (or people) that make you feel bad disappear? And as difficult as it may seem, once you have reached the point where you can really distance yourself from the things you have no influence on, then you will enjoy yourself more. You will also learn to understand others better. Or at least their actions. Don't get irritated so easily by what someone else does or says. Because someone else's actions say more about that person than they do about you. Just the fact that it bothers you? That says something about you. And maybe more than you think 😉 .
