Couples trying to lose weight may be straining their relationship by using inappropriate strategies to achieve their weight loss goals, a new study suggests. The researchers examined how individuals interpret their partner's approaches to aid weight loss. Analysis of the online survey responses of 389 individuals, all of whom were actively trying to lose weight and living with a partner, identified four distinct "relational environments" in which couples lose weight.
These ranged from "synchronized," where both partners share a positive weight loss attitude and act as a team to pursue their weight loss goals, to "lone fighters," characterized by low team effort and higher levels of relational pressure. Single fighters are less likely to talk about weight loss as a couple. The study classifies those somewhere in between as either "contentious cooperatives," when approaching weight loss sometimes causes conflict, or "autonomous," where individuals receive only sporadic encouragement from their partner, without undue interference.
The three most common weight loss strategies couples use are encouragement (praise and reassurance), influence (force their partner to do better and make healthier choices), and coercion (make the other feel guilty by canceling affection). However, unless partners tailor these approaches to their particular relational environment, couples risk alienation and undue tension.
The study found that "synchronized" partners, who formulated weight loss as a common goal, were much more receptive to all three strategies, including coercion. The negative emotions associated with this strategy, such as guilt, were more likely to be interpreted positively in this environment as a concern for their partner's health, rather than as manipulative or controlling. This could lead to positive effects for both weight loss and the couple's relationship.
