We live in a country where learning, studying and hard work are central. If we don't know each other yet, we quickly ask the question:'What do you do for work?' When we talk about our children, we talk about what they can already do. If we have bought a new expensive car, we brag about it and you also want to tell us about that new dress that it is from that one well-known expensive brand. Do you recognize yourself in this, in the typical western performance orientation? Or is being performance-oriented not your thing at all? Or are you like that, but don't you really want to be like that, but are you doing it to please others? How performance-oriented are you?
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I think it's such a shame that many people in the Netherlands find it so important to do everything as perfectly as possible. They want to have the perfect job and be the perfect parent (and thus create the perfect children) and have a divine body and the most beautiful house and have enough money left over for the most beautiful car, the best clothes, a great holiday, etcetera, and so on, and so on!
But does that really make us happy, from all that hard work!? Maybe there are people who like to always try their hardest and always want to be the best at everything. But I am also convinced that there are many out there who actually work way too hard and are not at all as happy as they appear. And how often do you hear and see around you that people can no longer handle it all and are hopelessly stuck at home with a burnout or depression.
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You can compare it to a scale with 'work' on one side and 'relaxation' on the other. By working too hard (to perform) the scale will become too heavy on the 'work' side. The more you load this heavy side, the harder it will be to get the scale back into event weight. You have no energy left for the things you like and relax. All you can do now is plop down on the couch and stare in front of you…
But it is precisely the nice things in life that give you energy, that make you want to go for something again. In other words, if, in addition to working hard (and performing), you also choose enough to do fun things, then the balance will be lost less quickly. Are you doing enough fun things in your life? Really nice things, so not things you do because you have to do it yourself or to please others (that falls under the heading 'work').
What do you really like to do? Hiking, knitting, reading, watching TV, dining out, playing a game, going to an amusement park, going to a concert, swimming, going out with friends, going on vacation, painting??? It doesn't matter what it is. As long as they are things you enjoy and more importantly if you do enough of them so that the scales don't get out of balance. Women are more likely to suffer from burnout than men. Could that also be because we always must ?
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It may not be easy to do enough fun things in your busy life. But you can always organize a busy life differently. Can't you be a little less performance-oriented and work in order to have more free time (and possibly give up that expensive car and that luxurious holiday)? Don't have time for a hobby on the weekend? Can't you try to turn a hobby into your job? You are in charge of your life. You only live your life once. Enjoy it, good is good enough!
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