Together with Mieke Kosters, we will help you this month to realize your intention to become tighter. Not necessarily by eating healthier, but by changing your behavior and creating habits that you can maintain.
We sit on the couch together, husband and I. We just made tea and grabbed a bar of chocolate. “I just keep on eating,” says the man, fed up with his lack of self-control. “Shall I put the rest of the chocolate in the kitchen?” I ask. "Yes, do that."
No self-control?
So that's a lack of discipline, many people think. People who want to lose weight often hear that:you just have to have discipline. Losing weight is a matter of willpower. Throw in some slogans such as 'being strict and strong' and 'suffering', and it is immediately quite a task to ever lose a kilo.
Give in to temptations
I recognize the struggle of actually not wanting to eat, but doing it anyway. Giving in to temptations because it smells so good, it just stands in front of you or looks so delicious. I used to think:let me eat that bar now, then I won't have the same struggle tomorrow.
Nowadays, – 18 kilos less – it is usually different. Still, I don't feel that my willpower is much greater now. In fact, I'm not such a disciplined person. I like good food, drinking a glass of wine, having fun and not being too difficult… So:what makes it easier for me to resist temptations?
The science of self-control
A lot of research has been done in psychology on self-control. The idea is that you have an angel and a devil on your shoulders, as it were. Your short-term desires don't always align with your long-term goals (your mind), causing those voices within you to fight each other. The prevailing view is that people with a lot of willpower beat the devil more often.
No willpower needed
But it turns out to be something else:with people who are good at self-control, the battle between the devil and the angel hardly takes place.
Research shows that people who are good at resisting temptation also experience the fewest temptations. Simply put, the people who say they have more willpower use it much less. They don't need willpower very often.
This way you also get fewer temptations: So the trick is to need less willpower. This can be done in two ways:
1. Make sure you enjoy difficult things - such as eating less
If you have to lose weight from yourself, you can't do tasty things, you have to be strict. There's no fun in that. No one can suffer for a lifetime. The solution:Switch from need to want. You don't have to do anything at all; you would like to lose weight, be slimmer, be fitter, have energy. Because you think that's important. Well, that includes making food choices. You just eat everything, just not everything now. But there is absolutely nothing on the banned substances list. Because:if you don't like wine or chocolate, you want it.
In short:You can eat anything, but you don't always choose it.
You decide when to take wine, or cheese or some extra chocolate and when not! That makes losing weight just delicious and fun. You will not suffer, you will enjoy good food much more. Without guilt. Because you no longer eat all the goodies, but the most delicious. This makes you slim and you feel more powerful. Don't you want that too?
2. Let your environment help you develop lean habits
Set up your environment in such a way that it becomes easier to achieve your goals. So:get less goodies at home if you want to lose weight. Exercise at set times. Buy sweets for the kids that you won't eat yourself. Only put healthy things in plain sight in the kitchen. Make sure you can easily recall your long-term goal and provide reminders that help you choose effective behavior.
If you are not strong, you must be smart (and that feels super strong)
Of course, permanent weight loss is sometimes a matter of perseverance. It is therefore not the case that you never use willpower. But:a lack of self-control does not make people fat. It is not the innate difference in willpower, but a difference in strategy that is decisive for a leaner lifestyle.
So:if you hear yourself or someone else say:'I don't have the willpower for that', then you know that that is nonsense. And that there is one smart remedy:develop a slimming strategy.
Good luck!
Mieke
Also read the previous blog: I know, I just have to do it.
Mieke Kosters is the founder of Skinnyminds. The approach to stop dieting and dieting and start losing weight permanently through behavioral change.
Are you already on your way to a slim mindset? Download the free checklist here.
