I'm turning 40 in less than a year.
And I would be lying to you if I said I didn't mind going into quarantine.
It's as if turning 40 was a milestone where I had to be perfectly fulfilled...
Whether I am the irreproachable cliché of a successful wife, mother or business woman.
Today, my life is quite satisfying. But if I could have done things differently, my life would definitely be very different.
I am the lucky mother of two lovely children.
And although I can boast of some great accomplishments, I sometimes feel depressed when I compare my life to that of other women.
It will soon be 40 years that I am on this earth. And when I rewind my life to my 30s, I think I could have done a few things differently.
Especially if I had known then what I know now!
Indeed, certain experiences that I have had in the past have forced me to question myself and therefore to consider things differently.
So for those who are still lucky enough to be in their thirties, here are 20 truths that 40-year-old women wish they had known when they were 30:
I sincerely believe that if I had loved every aspect of my personality , good and bad, I could have avoided many of the mistakes I made when I was younger. When we know who we really are inside, we accept and love ourselves fully. And when you really love yourself, it's much easier to love and accept others. As a result, we are much more likely to build lasting and healthy relationships.
Whatever your passion or what you love to do in life, make sure you feed your soul with what really inspires you. If you're not sure, try new things, new activities until you find the ones that really get you going.
For a very long time, I tried to do everything on my own without anyone's help. I realized later that having a solid network of friends and trusted people to share my life with was very enriching and stimulating. Connect with new people that will help you throughout your life is simply indispensable.
During the most difficult periods of my life, I always wore a nice smiley mask, whatever the hardships I was going through. Only a few relatives knew the real difficulties I was going through. As soon as you reveal to other people that you also have blues and troubles, like any other person, people will trust you more because they find you more sincere and authentic .
A large part of my life was devoted to others, so much so that I no longer had much time for myself. The reasons and motivations that prompted me to do so were wrong, which made things much more difficult than they could have been. The reality is that you can't make everyone happy. It's impossible. But one thing is for sure, once you start making the right decisions for yourself , life becomes easier.
I could have avoided some bad relationships if I had understood that when I was younger. Knowing how to compromise is necessary in any intimate relationship because we are all different and we all have different needs. Most of the time, compromise is a good thing if it's shared fairly on both sides. But if you give up on your wants and needs most of the time, it's time to reevaluate the situation. We may have to decide if it is really healthy to continue this relationship.
This is perhaps one of my biggest regrets. I traveled when I was young before I had kids and it was great. Money can either buy material things or souvenirs. If I had understood this earlier, I would have certainly bought less material things and I would have planned a budget to take at least one trip a year . Traveling gives a sense of freedom and also opens your eyes to how other people experience the world.
To discover: 15 Reasons Why People Who Travel Are More Successful In Life.
In the past, I often suffered from anxiety and stress. My upsets engendered anxiety and it had become an integral part of my personality. Once you realize that stress won't be a game changer, you begin to accept more easily what is going on around you . You understand that everything will be fine no matter what. When I stopped worrying about everything that was going on around me, my stress level dropped significantly.
Sometimes I feel like I really should stop going to Facebook and close my account. Comparing her life to that of her best friend that we know well is one thing. But comparing it to those of strangers on Facebook is really harmful. Once you realize that comparing your life to others is depressing, you will eventually stop. There will always be someone more interesting, more beautiful or better than me. That, I accepted today. Now, as soon as I start comparing myself to someone, I immediately try to change my thoughts to something more positive. I try to think of all the reasons why I am grateful in my life and it allows me to think about positive things and move on.
To discover: 10 Good Reasons To Stop Checking Facebook Permanently.
I had Disney Princess Syndrome. You know the one who tells you that you are going to meet Prince Charming, get married and live happily ever after? Sorry for Disney, but that's far from reality. After missing my second marriage, I stopped expecting too much from people around me. Once you realize that you can achieve your dreams, without depending on others, that's when you start to really live your life . When you project your desires onto another person, you very often risk being disappointed.
To discover: 12 Toxic Thoughts To Avoid For A Better Life.
If I could start all over again, I would try a multitude of jobs before choosing the one that suits me perfectly. I would also do a lot more research on the different trades. When you decide on a career, you really have to imagine yourself doing this for the rest of your life. This way, you are more likely to be one of those people who invest in their work and enjoy the career they have chosen. Many people are stuck in jobs they hate just to collect a check at the end of the month. This is far from an ideal situation.
It should be obvious, but unfortunately I didn't when I was young. Today, I look back at my retired parents and it makes me think of all those things I need to do to be financially secure when I'm older. Life is made up of the unexpected... Set money aside is a wise and intelligent decision to face the unexpected in life.
To discover: 29 Easy Money Saving Tricks (and No, You Don't Know Them All!)
I discovered late in my life that I took pleasure in helping others. For some, it can mean volunteering in an association or helping a loved one who is going through a difficult time. Give part of your time for free is a way to keep your feet on the ground and be grateful for what you have. It's very rewarding to be able to forget about your problems by taking the time to help someone else. If you do something right and expect nothing in return, then you will feel amazingly better no matter what happens afterwards.
I spent part of my life being angry about some unfortunate events that happened in my life. I was 100% sure it was someone else's fault. Then, I realized that the resentment I had towards others and myself was preventing me from being happy. So I made a profound change. It took me a while to learn to forgive others . But with perseverance, I was able to achieve it slowly, but surely. As a result, I now feel much freer than before. Once you are able to leave behind hurts that you have inflicted on yourself or others have inflicted on you, you see life in a much more positive light.
To discover: The 10 Things You Absolutely Should Stop Worrying About
It is sometimes difficult to escape negative people if they are part of your work colleagues or your family. So sometimes you don't have a choice, but most of the time you can choose who you want to spend time with. If you're in a relationship with someone who takes more than they give, it's time to set boundaries or phase it out. Once those boundaries are set, life becomes easier because those negative people don't pull you down like they used to.
Throughout my life, I have had a hard time saying "no". I always wanted to say "yes" to make people happy. But that is not possible. When I said "no", I felt obliged to justify myself, to explain the reasons for my answer so that my interlocutor could better understand it and not take it badly. The older I get, the more I realize that saying "no" is enough on its own. And I don't need to justify my choice and explain all the reasons why I can't come to a party or do something for someone else. When you know how to be firm in simply saying "no", it is much easier to make decisions for yourself instead of making them for others.
I'm part of the clan of divorcees, it's hard to admit... but today I know exactly what I expect from my companion. Yet it is very easy to get caught in the nets of emotions and feelings! In my previous relationships, I would count the time I had invested in this person and realize that what I had was not right for me. Despite this, I got married hoping that things would improve. Unfortunately for me, it didn't! The situation has even gotten worse... If you can't see your relationship as it is today in the long term, then you are certainly not with the man you really need. Know that it is much easier to end a relationship before it gets too serious. If you have reservations about your relationship or if you want to change too many fundamental aspects of your partner's personality, it is surely better to move on.
It's a very simple thing, but we live in a world where everyone is connected to their smartphone or the Internet so much that it becomes more and more difficult to disconnect and enjoy the little things in life . Sometimes know how to stop and admire a sunrise or a sunset. Lie down on the grass to watch the stars and clouds pass by. Stop and smell the fragrance of the flowers. Take a break to see the sea or the mountains and appreciate nature. Life goes by very quickly and if you don't take the time to stop and look around you could pass by without noticing.
If only I had understood this sooner! Before, I was so concerned about what other people thought of me that I often said or did things just to please them. When I realized that people's opinion of me was actually not my problem, I was then able to base my decisions on really good reasons instead of bad ones. When you are able to be yourself and stop caring about what other people think of you, then life becomes much better! Why ? Because the worry and the hope of pleasing others disappears. The truth is, you can't please everyone . So the best thing is to focus on yourself and wear this bikini without worrying about what other people think!
When I was young, I wanted all things to be predictable, stable, and for the most part never to change. I felt reassured knowing that my life was going to be the same year after year. When I was confronted with many changes that all happened at the same time, I experienced it quite badly. I realized later that the only thing you could be sure of in life was that life was going to change! Once you accept the change and that you know that your life will take different turns, you are much better prepared to face the challenge and accept the events of life.
