From an early age I have had a fear of having a Pap smear made. This fear was probably fed by the GP, where I had my first Pap smear made as a teenager. I found this so terribly uncomfortable and painful that I still suffer from it now.
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A number of times I have received an invitation from the population screening to have a smear made to check for cervical cancer. I have never accepted that invitation. Stupid, I know, but every time I make up an excuse not to go there and both my pregnancies were a clear argument for me not to go to the doctor.
It's in my head, but it's really getting in the way. Since both my parents have a history of cancer, it is important that I get tested. Other than that, of course, but now I actually think it's extra important. In addition, I think that I cannot justify to my children not to have a Pap smear made. Imagine that I am a carrier of the HPV virus, then of course you want to know that as soon as possible.
First of all, the 'technical information'. In fact, a Pap smear is nothing more and nothing less than taking some cells from the cervix. These cells are examined in a laboratory for the hpv virus.
As I mentioned, I once had to have it done when I was a teenager, which left me with very bad memories. Besides the fact that I find it extremely embarrassing, it was also very painful. Now childbirth is also painful, but I experienced that very differently, probably because of the hormones. After my last delivery I tried to have an IUD put in at my current GP, but that also went completely wrong. And having an IUD put in is, as far as I'm concerned, quite a bit comparable to having a Pap smear made. You get it already… the fear has not diminished. On the advice of the GP I had to go to the gynecologist for the IUD, but in the end I didn't do that anymore. It's all so deeply rooted.
It's not all that difficult. You lie on the examination table with your legs spread and – if you have a nice doctor – he or she pre-warms the duckbill. The duckbill is then inserted into your vagina and opened there so that the cervix is visible and accessible. Then some cells are removed with a wooden spatula or a brush.
If they come with the duckbill, then it already goes wrong. Everything cramped. Although I still have so much in my head that I have to try to relax, forget it, the damage has already been done and things are kind of locked up. At least that's how it feels.
Because I have already ignored repeated invitations from the population screening, I think it is really time to have a smear made. I have therefore taken the step to request a self-sampling kit instead of having a smear made immediately by the GP. Didn't know that was possible, but I read the last invitation carefully and it shows that you can do the first part yourself. If no HPV is detected, I can use that to conclude my investigation. If the HPV virus is found, I still have to have a smear taken. So to be continued….
Who recognizes this fear and how do you deal with it? If you want to know more about it, check out the Thuisarts site, set up by general practitioners.
