Bibian (43) underwent a gastric bypass and lost sixty kilos. This makes her feel like a different person:“I often ignored myself, I don't do that anymore.”
“I have lost sixty pounds. Half of what I weighed before my surgery:one hundred and twenty kilos † When I look at photos from the past, I hardly recognize myself. Also people around me sometimes have to look twice when they see me, such as that former classmate I recently ran into and who beamed past me. Sometimes it's funny:my neighbors across the street thought my husband had a new flame, they just didn't see that I was that slim blond lady who got into his car.
I've always been overweight, even as a child. In my family, many women on my mother's side are overweight, so I must have a certain predisposition to it. But predisposition is only one of the reasons why people become overweight. I started my first diet when I was 14, I found the callanetics book from my mother and tried the exercises it contained. In the years that followed, I followed pretty much every diet out there. Weight Watchers, South Beach , a fruit diet, Atkins … When I recently cleaned out my closet, I was able to recycle thirty diet and self-help books. I have been a member at every gym in the area, but unfortunately I couldn't sustain long-term sports. Sometimes I lost a few kilos, once I even lost thirty kilos by counting calories very strictly. But in the end those kilos always came back over time, and often with some bonus kilos.”
“The fact that I was so heavy had a big impact on my self-image. From an early age I often felt unhappy in my body. I was always aware of my presence among my slim girlfriends, for example never wanted to go to hip tents, because I didn't feel comfortable there. And where in our student days they just scored a nice dress, my mother crawled behind the sewing machine every year to make a tailor-made evening dress for me. I stood out, in a negative way, I thought at the time. And I felt so bad about that that I only started eating more. In company I ate normally and healthy, but when I was alone I threw myself on chips and chocolate.
Of course it wasn't all doom and gloom:I had a good job and a nice social life. And I met my love – precisely at a time when I was almost not overweight after a year of dieting. But in the years that followed, I did gain weight again. We moved in together and had a beautiful son. Before my wedding, I tried to lose weight again. Sports went well with a personal trainer, but healthy eating was difficult for me, despite the fact that I really wanted to fit into that white dress. As we got out of the car on our wedding day, I overheard two tourists saying to each other:"Lovely, but the bride is big." Thinking about that now makes me quite sad. Fat shaming on your wedding day, you're not making that up, are you?
The real low point came a few years later when I was on holiday in Italy with my husband and our son. It was sweltering hot. I just sat in our apartment while they played together in the pool. Suddenly I realized:I am not only limiting myself, but also my family. And I was completely fed up with my self-pity and the role that being overweight played in my life. In addition, I also knew that it was unhealthy and could lead to health problems in the long run.
My husband has never said anything negative about my weight, but it probably wasn't easy for him either. Sometimes we ran into his handsome, slim exes and then I felt quite insecure. After all, he had fallen for me when I was a few pounds slimmer, did he still like me?”
“There in Italy I decided that enough was enough and I started thinking about gastric bypass. Because after all that fruitless diets, I was gradually convinced that dieting would not lead to permanent weight loss for me. Yet it took another two years before I really dared to take the step. I wanted to know exactly what risks such a major operation entails.
On the internet I came across many positive stories against, but also the experiences of patients in whom it had not gone well. It is also quite a complicated operation:in the case of a gastric bypass, not only is your stomach smaller, but also part of your small intestine is rerouted, so that you absorb less from your diet. You will suffer the consequences of this for the rest of your life. So you have to be mentally and physically strong enough to take this step. Fortunately, I passed all the tests beforehand. But when I finally got 'permission', I waited for months until I really felt I was ready.
After the gastric bypass surgery I had to stay overnight in the hospital and after a week or two I was back to work. But really, everything really starts after that. Getting used to your new life with a completely different diet. During the operation, my stomach was reduced to the size of a kiwi and part of my small intestine was re-arranged. As a result, I could only eat small portions for the first two years, otherwise my body would not tolerate it and I would get a stomachache. More than three years later, that effect is less and I can eat a bit more. So it now comes down to willpower again not to snack or eat too much.
The rapid weight loss is really an attack on your body and the period after the procedure I was often tired. Also during difficult periods I could no longer fall back on my old friends chocolate and chips. Sometimes I was quite grumpy because of that. For example, if my husband was sitting on the couch with a beer and good food, I would snap:'That is super unhealthy.' While I was secretly just jealous that he could eat everything and I couldn't. Fortunately, I did lose weight quickly, especially in the first year. It was estimated beforehand that I would lose a total of about 40 kilos – that seemed great to me – but it became even more.”
“It's a strange sensation to suddenly go through life as someone with a normal BMI. It also took me quite a while to see myself as slim – my head just couldn't keep up with that rapid change. I will never forget the first time I tried on pants with Zara. I had fantasized about that beforehand and it felt great. But the fact that I can run effortlessly these days gives me an even bigger kick. Who could have thought? People react to me differently too. I am now greeted kindly in shops, while before I was sometimes immediately told that they did not sell my size there. Or they spontaneously hold the door open for me. My own husband has always thought I was beautiful, but now he says that even more.”
“Although my life hasn't changed, I do feel like a different person, or no, actually I finally feel like myself. I am more active and more present. I often ignored myself, was shy and didn't dare to really be there. That is no longer the case. I have become much more assertive. The other day I simply asked for a discount when we went to buy a new sofa – I had never dared such a thing before.
After three years it becomes increasingly difficult to keep the weight off. My appetite has also returned and the feeling of satiety is less. On the scale I notice more quickly that I have gained a kilo after a party, while I really didn't act very crazy. The doctors had told me that honestly:most people gain some weight after such an operation at some point. Unfortunately, that's part of the process and the trick is to limit that weight gain. And for that you really have to make permanent changes to your lifestyle.
I continue to eat as healthy as possible and I exercise regularly. Of course I really don't suddenly think chocolate is dirty and I run past all the old temptations in the supermarket as quickly as possible. The biggest difference is that I now also love vegetables, that I now really like to cook and that I usually manage to leave out unhealthy things. Very occasionally I eat a tiny piece of cake, a chocolate or a few chips, but not in large portions. It's not worth it to me.”
To lose a lot of kilos, more and more people undergo a gastric reduction , in which mainly a gastric bypass or a gastric sleeve are performed. Were they still so' . in 2007 n 3,500, last year more than 11,000 people went under the knife. To be eligible for gastric reduction, you must have at least a BMI of 40, or a BMI of 35 in combination with certain conditions, for example type 2 diabetes. With both a gastric sleeve and a gastric bypass, the stomach is reduced and with the gastric bypass In addition, a section of the small intestine is diverted. Both operations are not without risks. For example, patients can suffer from a lack of vitamins, problems with the blood sugar level or all kinds of other complications. A stomach reduction costs about ten thousand euros, but is usually reimbursed by the health insurance.
Bibian Visser wrote two books for people who are considering or undergoing gastric reduction:A gastric reduction, and then? (Character Publishers) and the fill-in book Diary of my stomach reduction trajectory (in-house).
Source:Santé March 2019, text:Merel Brons, photos Bibian:@Brigitte van de Veen Image:Getty Images
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