Motivation can be one of the most misunderstood phenomena out there. It often sounds like motivation should be wonderful and stimulating. While the experience of lack of motivation gives us guilt, shame and inadequacy. Many would be helped by understanding how motivation actually shapes our behavior and how everything is generated in the brain.
To begin with, we must realize that there is a big difference between pleasure in life and motivation. Enjoying life is about the relationship with what we have while motivation is about the relationship with what we don't have yet. Being motivated for something means that with the thought alone we have created a stimulus in the brain that is caused by the secretion of dopamine in the nervous system. It feels great, but only as long as we feel closer to the goal of what we want. Then the continued stimulus is based on the fact that we can continue to surpass the experience. So it is not a wonderful pleasure in itself, but a pleasure based on the expectation that it will get better. The dopamine secreted is a “want-more” molecule that controls our thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Motivation will make us do things, set things in motion and become dependent on things that work for us. Due to the actions, the dopamine is supplemented with other secretions in the body such as noradrenaline, adrenaline and finally cortisol. Then we experience stress, discomfort and a feeling of insecurity. It's almost inevitable when we take care of things and want something beyond following familiar patterns and routines. In that situation, we look for stability, security and thus welcome the familiar. It gives us relief from the discomfort and instead we secrete wonderfully soothing oxytocin. Many also notice how easy it is to fall back into old patterns once dopamine levels have dropped and motivation has diminished. Setbacks arise in the previously devised plan. This is when oxytocin provides the long-awaited reassurance to do as we've always done rather than push for change.
The solution is to understand that motivation itself will not be enjoyable except in the thought of future results. The motivation will inevitably lead to a stress response in the body that can cause more or less discomfort. Anyone who manages to burn through that discomfort and still keep going, even if it's discouraging, will be able to reach a new normal situation that no longer feels unusual and straining. Then the new habits will be the ones that eventually become known in the brain and thus secrete the calming oxytocin. It is enjoying life.
The big obstacle for all of us is the brain's signal that discomfort is the same as dangerous. If we understand that discomfort is not dangerous, we can use motivation when we need it best, that is, when we have to go through the inevitable inconvenience that is the way to enjoy life. If we think motivation should feel great, we lose it in the situation where we need it.
